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Public Blogs, Sales

How to speak to your prospect’s unconscious mind directly.

 November 26, 2019

By  Nagui Bihelek

Secrets To How To Impress Prospects WithThe Right Language

Want to know a little secret about how language can influence a sale?

What if you could close more sales using a couple of language secrets that no one is telling you about?

Closing a sale has 3 stages, and all of them relate to your language. And all of them start with your prospect’s language.

Ever wondered why you made that sale, or why you didn’t? We’ve all been through it.  So what’s the little secret about language that could change your ability to consistently close more sales?

I am going to share with you some little language secrets, and I trust you will apply these appropriately.

BTW, these apply in more than just sales, and this is in part what we teach in both our LeadershipBI and CoachSuccessBI programs. Language is part of the Intelligence about Behaviors.

Behaviors include spoken and body languages. Behavior Intelligence (The BI in LeadershipBI and CoachSuccessBI, etc) is the ability to observe and interpret behaviors in order to communicate more effectively. It's the ability to influence through effective and correct communication aligned to your subjects neural-programs (their unconscious mind).

Yes, neural-programs! The brain’s receptors are only open to receive information that is aligned with the programs they run.

Example:  Imagine getting to a border crossing which caters for different size vehicles. From motor bikes, cars, vans, trailers, and large trucks. Each line or queue is set up to receive specific size vehicles, and each officer is trained to only accept the specified vehicles at his gate. A truck cannot be received at a gate designed for cars, and a car cannot be received at a gate for motor bikes, and so on. This is the same with the brain’s receptors. Each officer at their designated gate is trained to handle those specific types of vehicles at their gate. This is the way they have been programmed (trained), much like the programs that run in our brain unconsciously when we are listening and engaging in conversations with others.

In order for our message to be received rather than being ignored or deleted, or even distorted to fit what is being expected, the message needs to match each person’s programming. Sounds difficult? Well, it can be. Which is why I am going to share these little secrets with you to simplify it.

Just like when you arrive at the border crossing, and you read the signs in order to decide which gate matches your vehicle, you can address your language according to the language others are open to receiving.

Now before we get to the HOW, we need to explain the WHAT. The research conducted by scientist, psychologists, and neuroscientists identified many programs that people run, and they grouped these into categories in order to make it easy to put specific words in the right category.  Like the lanes at the border crossing.

I am only going to touch on a couple of categories that relate to sales which will help you the most. There are several others that can be considered when talking about sales or leadership, and those are covered in our training in much more detail. If you are interested please reach out via our 'contact us' form.

First category:  Filtering information for Steps or Concepts. People will process information, and receive information based on their need for Concepts or their need for Steps. When you get an Ikea kit to put up a table or shelf, do you read the instructions and follow along step by step, or do you look at the picture and from that you have enough idea of the concept.

Second category:  Filtering for what is Familiar versus what is New. People receive and acknowledge information by comparing that information to what they already know. Depending on whether they accept information based on their need for that information to align with what they already know, or their need for new information. Someone who needs new information might consider information that is the same as what they already know as unimportant. Whereas someone who filters for what is familiar finds that comforting and is more accepting of that information because they can relate it to something familiar to them. Conversely they would find new information unsettling.

When you combine these two categories you have 4 possible combinations. Steps with Familiar, Steps with New, Concepts with Familiar, and Concepts with New.

There is no guarantee that two people in similar roles would have the same combination, so you need to ask the right questions to discover which combination exists with your prospect or team member.

Why is this important? If you offer a new concept, no matter how great that idea is, to someone who is Steps with Familiar you cannot possibly convince them to buy your idea. Your idea will never fit through their gate. You are in essence at the wrong gate. It’s like trying to ram a semi into the lane for motor bikes. It just won’t fit and will be rejected by the officer at the gate.

To know your audience ensures that your languages lines up with their receptors. Your language would flow smoothly to that part of their brain when their unconscious programming matches what you are saying. So they get you instantly!

BTW, when they get you instantly they like you better and are far more quickly to trust you rather than when you try to fit a round peg in a square hole. The latter just creates friction and disagreement - aka No Sale.

Here are the 3-steps little secrets:

  1. 1
    Asking questions is great because it shows you care.
    a) Asking questions shows that you are not just going to push your product or service onto them, you are actually interested to figure out how you can align your product or service to their needs.
    b) You can’t find out what they need if you don’t ask questions.
  2. 2
    Building rapport includes asking permission to poke around where you might not otherwise be welcomed.
    a) When you have permission, you can get away with a lot.
    b) When you don’t then expect to get blocked. Expect resistance.
  3. 3
    Once you have rapport and permission, you need to ask these 2 questions:
    a) Would you mind if I ask a personal question?
       i. How long have you been in your role?
    b) Would it be ok if I asked one more question?
       i. How did you get this role?

IMPORTANT: Do not alter these or you will trigger the wrong response.

The answer to the first question tells you how long they’ve been doing the same thing, whether at the same company or with other companies previous to that.  If it is the same then they likely want to compare what you offer against similar experiences in their past. If what you offer is similar it will be accepted. On the other hand if it has only been short time in their current role and similarly in their previous roles, then you can be assured that they are looking for someone that will offer them something New.

The second question will result in an answer that is either a flowing story or short bullet points. A story with intertwined sequences is like Steps that occurred, for the most part, without their control. So that means they prefer for the world to provide rather than for them to create. However, if the answers seem to be a little disjointed and short bullet points, even with explanations as to why they took those actions, then you know that they like to take charge of creating the solution.

To help understand this better be sure to watch the video above at least a couple of times. Don't be shy to post comments and ask questions below.

In order to win a sale with a person that is New with Concepts your proposal and discussion with them needs to use language that causes them to participate in creating something new. You are like the inspiration for their new idea. You can steer this with your questions to lead them towards your product or service. More on this in our training.

In order to win a sale with someone who needs Familiar with Steps, you need to get them to remember something similar and show them the steps that you would take.

I hope this is becoming a little obvious. Your language can be made to match their neural-programs. That’s easy once you know what their neural-programs are. Without this you are taking a stab in the dark.

While this is just a brief snapshot,
I hope you can benefit from this.

Nagui Bihelek


Founder and CEO, Master coach, Coach trainer, and Entrepreneur. Experience ranges from corporate and public sector to multiple start ups over a 30+ year career. Leading change and transformation of both systems and processes as well as people and behavior. A pioneer and a thought leader in building successful teams and businesses.

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